June 1, 2021

When COVID19 first shut down the world, (and our lives), I found myself in a pretty dark place. I knew I needed to find something to focus on, in order to keep myself moving forward. 

Like a lot of people during this unprecedented time, I found myself spinning my wheels in place, feeling like my existence was merely the act of passing time. With working from home, and a sudden inability to feel safe going out and exploring the world around me, I began to feel increasingly isolated, and I couldn't see a way out. While I was resolute in my belief that “this too shall pass,” I wanted to leave lockdown having accomplished something that I was proud of. 

 I wanted to do something that had long been a personal goal of mine. 

I wanted to make an album. 

I’d been messing around with songwriting & music production for a few years before, and had been making songs ranging from very shitty to slightly less shitty, (and oh boy, there are a lot of very shitty ones). 

I’ve always felt a passion for music. Some of my earliest memories are sitting in the back of our 1994 Dodge Caravan, listening to the radio, and rewriting the lyrics/melody in my head to create new meaning. As I grew up, I was fortunate enough to have opportunities to jump from instrument to instrument, taking Piano, Violin, Clarinet, Saxophone, Guitar, and Voice lessons. Despite that wide-range of experiences, I never felt like I had found MY music. 

It wasn’t until I turned 18 that I started to try to find out what my music might sound like. It took me four more years to actually begin to try to record any of it. 

I’ve always latched onto songs that sound more like a diary entry or therapy session than those that have a great hook. I think music should be catchy, but good music should also leave you a little shook. I wanted the music I made to be honest, even ugly, because dammit, life is. I know many of the themes in my music won’t seem congruent with the person you may know and see me as. Many of you know the family I was raised in, and the values that I was instilled with, and some things I say may seem in direct conflict with that. Truthfully, they are. I’m a work in progress. I’m growing, learning, and evolving as best I can. I firmly believe that the beauty of being human is found in our ability to grow and change. 

Over the past few years, I've released a song or two every few months on a SoundCloud account. I’ve never really shared or talked about that with anyone (aside from a few, close friends) because, frankly, I wasn’t ready to. I struggled to make anything that felt to the caliber that I wanted it to be. I didn’t have the tools or experience to make anything that felt like what I knew it could be. I also wasn’t sure if I was ready to expose myself with that level of honesty. 

As a lot of you may know, I’ve struggled with depression my whole life. As with life, there are seasons in which those dark thoughts are more prevalent than others. As a teenager, I learned to cope in the same various ways that many teens cope with the struggles of adolescence. Drug & alcohol use became the default “escapism” that I sought refuge in. I’d be lying if I said that I haven’t struggled as I’ve entered into adulthood because of it.  
 
The album is called Socially Distant, for a couple of reasons. The most obvious namesake is after what we all have had to practice over the past 15 months, (and likely many more to come), which was directly responsible for me finding the time & inspiration to sit down and craft something. But deeper than that, I felt like that title summed up how I’ve felt for my 27 years I’ve been on this earth. Always a step (or 6 feet) removed, and never truly at peace in my own skin. I’ve always felt more comfortable observing the human experience, rather than participating in it. As a result, this project hits on some (mostly) dark themes. Depression, addiction, and isolation are major elements in this album. Am I proud of that? Not necessarily. Am I ashamed? Embarrassed? No. 

If you read to this point – Thanks. I’m so thankful for the good people in my life that push me, teach me, love me, and (at times) force me to be a better version of me tomorrow than I am today. If you like it, pass it on and show somebody. 

No matter what, I know music will always be a major part of my life. I may never rack up millions of plays, or even see a single cent in kickbacks for my efforts. It’s really not about that, (although that would be siiiick, right?). I write what I write the way I write it for me. I always will. I don’t get the point in any other way. 

The album went live on June 1st. I shared it with a total of 2 people. I’ve sat on it since then without sharing it beyond that, because I knew there were things I needed to say before I felt comfortable sharing it with you all, and so I appreciate you taking the time to read what I needed to say. 

I hope you enjoy. I’ll see you along the way. 

aiden